Bruce Willis was a ghost?!

Why is it that just when you think you're going well, figuring out what life might have instore for you everything changes? Well the truth is you never really have anything figured out. There is no way to truly know what's coming around the bend. I'm totally in the "Go with the flow" state of mind. Which for me is a first. I always liked to think that I was truly there.... doing whatever the flow leads me to, but no.

Well break out the finish line, I think i'm there. This place has really taught me to relax and just take care of myself.

How is it that walking makes you feel more alive? Yesterday I got rid of my car to save up on money. So now i'm a walking/riding memeber of SLC. I felt more alive yesterday, like I was an intricate part of this city. This city was just welcoming to me, letting me walk on her sidewalks, and use the cross walks. I know this is going to make me sound eccentric, but what else is knew right? I love it. I might never get another car if I don't have to. I want to be one of those cute families that lives downtown and walk my kids to the local school and wait for them at the cross walk to walk them home afterwards. We'll probably have one family car, but really.... I would love to just walk everywhere. Unless I got a scooter.... that would be fun too.

And plus, i'm helping the environment!

Why is it that no matter how good and long you know someone they can always suprise you? Humans have such complex emotions sometimes. I'm finding that friends are hard to maintain, it doesn't mean i'm giving up. But there does come a point to you just have to accept things for the way they are. A chapter is coming to an end. And just then, when I thought one might have closed the story continues. It's nice to feel appretiated, loved, and accepted. We all grow and mature, and sometimes for brief moments in time they coincide. We as friends grow together, that is until something happens in our lives seperately that changes us in different directions. So then our paths split. Sometimes they merge again or cross for a few more happy moments, but then there are cases when you are just that, split. 

So make the most of them while they're there! 

Introduction: I am one of those people who has many intelligent and wonderful thoughts (or so I like to think so) bouncing around in their minds. I'd love to write them down and share them with everyone, but when given a pen and paper they turn out to be just lame. In my opinion anyways, I have no charisma that few posses to make the words dance in the minds of others. But fortunately for me there are others out there who can address my thoughts in more elegant ways. That's why I love music. It effects the soul by perfectly arranging melodies and lyrics. So I'd like to share some lyrics that have spoken to my soul. It would have taken me forever to go through all my music, and so I just picked out some.

Please feel free to leave some lyrics as well. Sharing is Caring!

"I won't always love these selfish things, I won't always live not stopping."  - 23, Jimmy Eat World

"It was a beautiful letdown the day I knew that all the riches this world had to offer me would never do." - A beautiful letdown, Switchfoot

"Still a man hears what he wants to hear and just ignores the rest." - The Boxer, Simon & Garfunkel

"When you feel embarrassed then i'll be your pride. When you need directions then i'll be the guide. For all time." - Passenger Seat, Death Cab for Cutie

"Like a bridge over troubled water, I will lay me down." - Bridge Over Troubled Water, Simon & Garfunkel

"When you're hurt, you heal others. When you're in need, you give. Because of you I am living the most that I can live." - Believer, Ben Kweller

"I got one friend, laid a cross for me. I did not choose him, he did not choose me." - Hospital Beds, Cold War Kids

"You only disappoint the ones who don't believe." - Hannah Hold On, The Get Up Kids

"It's been so dark since you've been gone. We've been begging for the morning to come." - Eileen, The Hush Sound

"Sending a sobering scent. It's all in my hands to repent. Spectacular sin that takes discpline to stop." - Are you true, The New Amsterdams

"Give me the beat boys and free my soul, I wanna get lost in your rock and roll and drift away." - Drift Away, Dobie Gray

"I'm trying to find out if my words have any meaning. Lackluster and full of contempt when it always ends the same." - Together we'll ring in the new year, Motion City Soundtrack

"Been reading the forecast, something's coming this way. But it's taking forever and i'm too tired to maintain." - Empire State, Guster

"Do you feel it when you're frozen inside? Did you still swear to God you got nothing to hide?" - Drawing a line in the sand, Brandtson

"You humble me Lord. I'm on my knees empty.... Please, please, please forgive me." - Humble Me, Norah Jones

"Do what you want but I know who you are. Say what you want but I know what you're thinking. Go where you want but I won't be too far. Go where you want and I know where you'll end up. If you fall in love, fall in love and hold nothing back. I'll fall in love, fall in love and hold nothing back from you." - Hold nothing back, Copeland

"Are you hanging on for hope? It's all you've got worth living for." - Hanging on for hope, The New Amsterdams

I will tell my story with three perspectives.

The Serious Drama:

Yesterday morning I recieved a very rude awakening. Saturday was my only day to sleep and that was my plan. I noticed when Kim got up and started getting ready, but that wasn't the rudeness I was refering to. But sometime after she left I was woken by what sounded like someone at the door. That person was really wrestling trying to get it open, and I thought it might be Kim coming back in because she forgot something. We have two locks on our door, the top one locks automatically and the second is another dead bolt. We usually only use the top one, unless we're all home for the night because both of those locks with your hands full is a pain. So I roll out of bed and peek through our blinds in the room, which are right behind the backswing of the front door. I didn't have my contacts or glasses, so when I saw what appreared to be a tall and somewhat big in stature man, I was definately suprised. He forced the automatic lock open with a loud force. So without a bra on I wasn't going out there to be brave and be like "what the hell are you doing in my appartment strange man?" All I could think of to do was grab my cell phone and dart accross the room into my closet, shut the door and call 911. First I listened to find out where the strange man had gone, but I couldn't hear any footsteps on our hardwood floors, so I assumed he didn't hear me and started to call. The dispatcher was a bit testy with me because I didn't want to talk very loud affraid that he might hear me. But luckily there were cops in the area and they made it there in under a minute. The really frightening part was that the dispatcher told me that I needed to open the front door to let the cops in. It's really only like five feet from the closet door in the master bedroom to the front door, but you go through two doors. I was really scared that the man might be in the room just waiting for me to come out, or in the living room with weapon waiting for the police to come barging in. But after taking a few deep breaths I went for it - out the closet door, through our french double doors and opened the front door. But as I got into the living room and found the culprit, asleep on the couch snoring quite loudly, in his boxers. I tell the dispatcher that I do not know the man on my couch, and she was like, "OK so let the police officers in!" They come in and immediately push me out or harms way, I tell them that I don't know the man on my couch and they sieze him. The man had some troubles waking up nicely so they pull him up and start to handcuff him. He says, " What the F are you doing in my house? Get these off of me!" So I run back in my bedroom and grab my glasses so I can look at this guy, and I notice the time. 8:48 a.m. Cathrine hadn't gone to work yet, she's still home. I run into her room making sure she was ok, and there she was, sitting completely oblivious on the edge of her bed getting ready for work. I begin to cry, really loosing it, and tell her what happened. One of the cops comes into the bedroom with us and got my statement. He asked us to go back out to see if either of us knew the man. But I know I will never forget his face now. He had to have been about 6'4", 210lbs, long brown hair, long brown beard, white.... After that we went back in the room with the cop, but we could hear the other two talking to the man. He didn't want to give them his name, or correct address, so they arrested him with more force, and hauled him out. One officer came back up to let us know that the man was highly intoxicated, and on some kind of substance. He was charged with trespassing and intoxication. I got ahold of our landlord later that day and he's coming to give us a new lock.

The Comical Parts:

While I was in the closet I held the door shut by leaning back on the door knob. This scene from friends popped into my head where it's Rachel's birthday party when her parents are going through their divorce. Both of her parents showed up so they had to have two parties and keep her parents away from each other. Anywho, Ross is trying to keep her dad in Joey's apt by holding onto the door knob that exact same way. His response when asked why, "I'm just practicing for the water.... skiing...." I had a chuckle to myself in the closet with that.

Then there was a moment when the dispatcher said the police where heading up the stairwell, so I could relax a little bit. So I let go of my death grip on the knob, and look around for some kind of weapon in our closet. I found a big bottle of lotion that belonged to Kim. I thought 'Great, I'm going to moisterize him to death!...... Or give him a small bruise....'

Later while the hairy imposter was being interrogated the officer asked him his address.... he said, "Ok how about 123 Fake St!" I thought, "Atleast he has a sense of humor, It might keep him being someone's B in jail"

The Super Mega Blessings:

When Kim was getting ready she shut the open door to the bedroom so she wouldn't wake me up. Keeping me hidden behind the blinds so the man couldn't see me. (We have two long windows on our doors)

(Not to toot my own horn) But I was really running off of instict and promptings of the spirit. I know that my Heavenly Father was in that closet keeping me safe. For what felt like an hour, I debated on calling the cops, and questioned why this stranger would have come into my apt. But after a minute really, I got this impression, 'It doesn't matter. Just call the police.'

Cat had just gotten out of the shower 10 min before he came in.

Cat had also left her glasses in the living just feet away from our couch, and had thought on several occasions to go get them, but she didn't. It's a good thing too, she would have screamed, I know it. And would have just scared the man.

Hopefully he was so doped up and drunk that he won't remember where we live. It was completely random of him. He honestly thought he was asleep on his own couch.

And lastly, I thank God that all he wanted was a nap.

This past week Kim, Catherine, and I have been settling into our new place. It's so cool too, I finally got a downtown appartment and it only took me 5 years of living on my own! The place it just perfect - new floors (hardwood, tile, and carpets), 3rd floor (great view), CLAW FOOT TUB (baths are spectacular), and best of all we only pay for electricity!

One good thing about it too is that pretty much everyone that I go to church with lives in walking distance of us, so when we have our blow-out house warming party there's no excuse for people not coming! Our living room and dining room are open too which makes a big space for a good dance party. I haven't taken any pictures yet because i'm waiting for it to be all finished. Our furniture needs to get situated. I found the sweetest dresser at the DI too, it's lime green and yellow. Looks like something from a dr. suess book.

Well i'll put up pics soon hopefully.

I'm going to Austin for SXSW!!!! I got the 13th through the 20th off.... I'm so stoked!!!

I hate how much dreams can affect my life sometimes. Last night I had an awful dream. It started out wonderful, I was back in Austin for SXSW and a bunch of my friends were there and we just got done catching some shows. We go back to my brothers place to hang out and I find him crying. Turns out my mother had died in a car wreck that day... but for some reason in my dream I didnt' have my cell phone.  I swear I knew I was dreaming so I kept trying to wake myself up but I couldn't for the life of me get out of that bad dream! Instead it kept going... my whole life changed in the dream. I ended up moving back to Texas to help my dad pay for everything. I got a job teaching History at a local high school.

But when I finally did wake up I could not sleep at all. I didn't want to. I didn't want to have that feeling again. So now i'm so tired because i've been up forever. I know it was just a dream but holy crap it shook me up. I'm definately calling my mommy tonight and telling her I love her.

So as if that last lesson wasn't good enough. Lesson #2:

I couldn't afford to go home to Texas for Christmas so my friend Kim's family invited me to stay with them. Thier family is so awesome too, I love these people. We convinced her parents to let us open up one gift before we went to bed. (I love how no matter what age you are Christmas always makes you feel like a kid.) Anywho Kim and my other friend Catherine pitched in to buy me an Ipod Nano!!!! They call it a temporary replacement until I get Mabel back. Her name is Ethel.

What is this lesson? As long as you surround yourself with people who love you - life can't be that bad! I love these girls!!! And I know that Kim was saving up to buy herself one, so that was a very nice thing she did. And then her parents ended up buying one for her..... You just can't help but feeling loved and blessed when people around you love and care for you!

To My friends back home, I love you guys! And miss ya tons.... I put up a video on my photobucket sending a christmas wish to all so check it out.

Feliz Navidad!!!

So as most of you know from a former posting, I received as a gift from the parents a Video Ipod, Mabel. Well 3 days ago Mabel was stolen from my locker at work. A coworker of mine decided it was nice and wanted it for herself. Yes, I know who it is, but there's no proof and I could get fired if I accused her of anything. So here I am, stuck. I filed all the proper reports with police and work. But I doubt i'll ever get her back.

Well the same day that happened our ward had the opportunity to deliver the gifts we had been collecting for the Sub for Santa families. For those who dont' know, Sub For Santa collects gifts for needy families who in other ways wouldn't get any christmas. Some of us had been given an 11 yr old boy to buy for so I thought it would be nice to atleast see his face when he sees all the goodies. Niether family knew we were coming, so it was so awesome to show up on their doorstep singing carrolls and holding 11 big garbage bags of presents for them and thier family. The other family was a single mom with 3 girls. She started crying, and oh man, I couldn't even finish the song.

So what was my lesson? All day I had been so upset and feeling sorry for myself. That was my only christmas gift from my family, and it was taken from me. And there I was, going to families who wouldn't even have had anything. It really gives you a perspective on what's really important. That stupid Ipod was the most expensive thing i've ever owned in my life, other than my car. But yet that money could have done wonders for families like theirs. I know that sounds so cliche but its' true, and its the feeling I have in my heart. So I would like to say that the moral of my lesson was to just be thankful for the gifts that I have. And all the crap that your going through there is one person who experienced it all. Happy Birthday Jesus!

Ok, so for the first week of snow storms I had a very chipper attitude! The snow makes everything look so pretty, and .............. uh white. But my little Betty just ain't used to these conditions. I had a couple scary encounters last week. Last sunday it snowed all day, and that evening we had a ward activity that I really wanted to go to. (there's a cute guy i'm secretly stalking) Well my aunt lives on the freaking mountain and the only way up or down is on this really steep street. So i'm coming down it, pumping my brakes to maintain control, and then I hit a patch of black ice. My car then slides sideways with the driverside door leading the way down the mountain. I'm not accurate but i'm thinking it was about 100 ft. But by some miracle it skidded to a stop in the middle of the intersection, and I was facing the way I was supposed to go! So on I went, and that evening when I came back home I was really dreading that stupid road. Sure enough, the thing that we always joked about with my car happened. There was just too much snow and ice on the road and my car is so tiny that halfway up that road my car gave up and slid backwards down the mountain. So I just popped it into reverse and let the snow take my car to a nice slow parrallel parking spot. (another miracle) And I just walked up to my house.

And yesterday, going to church was awful because it had snowed again a good 5 in. overnight. Man alive, I might have been born in Idaho, but my body is not meant for the cold. Even with all the layers I have, it's not enough. So I came the conclusion that when i'm done conquering the world, or being a nomad, i'm settling down south for good. But whilst I am living here I will enjoy it as much as possible. I've got a couple of friends up here I can go snowboarding with, and I must participate in sledding and snowball fights! Plus I love winter clothing......